Another First Day of School

Life Update

I’m going back to school! After a lot of thought and great discussions with friends, I’ve decided to pursue an M.A. in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. I’ve been accepted to the University of the Cumberlands and I start online classes in July.

This is a big change for me, and I’m both nervous and excited. I’m worried about finances, I’m worried about managing my time with a full time job, and I’m worried about how uncertain the next few years of my life will be. But I’m mostly excited to be pursuing training for a career I’m immensely passionate about, and this excitement outweighs my fears.

If anyone’s interested in why the heck I’m doing this, I’ve decided to share my application essay below. The prompt asked me to explain my desire to enter the counseling profession, why I believe licensure as a counselor is important, and potential challenges I think I might face. I also had to write a second essay to explain my remarkably average college GPA, but I will spare you from that :)

The Essay

What does it mean to be fulfilled by your career? This is a question I’ve been asking myself and others over the last several years. I’ve received varying responses. Some people claim that it’s most important to love your job, so that you’ll never work a day in your life. Others have disagreed, saying that their job is “just a job”, and that their fulfillment comes from what they do outside of work. It’s clear that each person's needs are different- what are mine?

I definitely didn’t know the answer when I was 18 and running off to college for the first time. I studied theology, and then somehow ended up in a career in technology. I’m not ungrateful for the path I’ve found myself on, but I recognize that it’s a unique leap from where I started! And while I take pride in what I do, I’ve realized that it’s not what I want to do forever. Fixing computers and managing systems are admirable professions, but the thought of doing it for the rest of my life makes me nervous. I’m a person who needs to be working in a profession that they’re passionate about.

One of my earliest memories is sitting in a small chair in grief counseling when I was six years old. My mom had enrolled me after the sudden death of my father. While his death was tragic, it also acted as a driving force for my passion to serve wounded people and walk alongside them through their own seasons of difficulty. As early as middle school, I can remember feeling satisfied when I sat with peers and had meaningful conversations with them. It wasn’t until I started seeing a therapist in my adult life that I started to see working in mental health as a realistic and rewarding career path for myself.

I’ve sat with friends and family, coworkers, and my own counselor to walk through what this would look like. The best part about this period of exploration is that the longer I talk about it, the more excited I feel! Thinking about working as a therapist stirs my heart in a way that not many other professions do. I’ve found myself pestering people in the industry with questions and dreaming about what sort of opportunities await me. I’m sure that not every counselor wakes up each morning with excitement for the day’s tasks, and I’m sure that the job is full of its own challenges. However, I am certain that my experience working with individuals on a personal and intimate level has always left me feeling fulfilled. Creating a space for people to walk through life’s difficulties makes me feel like my skills are being put to good use, and that what I’m doing matters. It makes me feel hopeful.

This is not only something I enjoy, but also where I believe my strengths are. I rarely think of myself as a particularly wise or mature person, but people that know me seem to disagree. Many of my friends have shared that they feel safe with me, sharing whatever might be on their heart. Coworkers and strangers have told me that I listen well, and that they feel like they can easily talk about their passions with me. It’s hard to describe yourself as being compassionate, wise and open-minded, but I’m lucky to know people who have described me this way. When I tell people that I’m pursuing a career in therapy, it makes me feel honored that they are overwhelmingly supportive. It puts a smile on my face when someone says, “You’d be good at that”, especially when it comes from someone already working in the industry.

The experiences listed above: my personal struggles with mental health, my passions and skills, and the feedback given to me by people who know me best, have all pushed me towards deciding to pursue licensure as a counselor.

Licensure is a critical component of working in mental health. When seeking out a therapist in my own life, I had a list of preferred qualities I wanted them to have- but most of all, I wanted to know that they were qualified to work with me. The licensure of a counselor sets a foundation of qualification that assures clients that they’re working with a professional. I wanted to have confidence in my counselor’s ability to understand and guide me. I wanted to know that their approach to counseling came not just from personal experience, but from years spent studying the practice. The requirement of licensure also sets up healthy boundaries that builds trust between a counselor and client, which is important in a relationship that requires a lot of nuance. I’ve found that my personal values align well with the counselor’s code of ethics, and the existence of these guidelines is encouraging for both counselors and clients.

This is different from my current job, where I’ve been able to succeed with experience, but no formal training in computer science. While I feel confident that I can do my job well, there are still times I wish I had that education to rely on. Now that I’ve decided to pursue a career in counseling, it is reassuring to me that licensure will require that I’ll receive both the education and experience needed to be an effective counselor.

I’m beyond excited to start my training, and I often find myself daydreaming about what the next few years and beyond look like for me. Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m not also nervous. Though people have been supportive of my decision to pursue this career, I sometimes second guess myself. Am I really the type of person that people would want as their counselor? Sometimes I worry if I’m skilled, experienced, or even interesting enough to walk with someone whose struggles seem much more difficult than mine. I have always tried to be a person of empathy, but I worry that my clients would feel uncomfortable sharing problems with me that I have not gone through myself. For example, I’m afraid that people of color, or individuals struggling with their sexual identity, would not feel safe having a straight white man as their counselor.

In regards to this fear, I rely on the encouragement of my friends and my connections that work in mental health. I trust that I’m a person who would be able to listen well and try to empathize with my clients even if I don’t immediately understand their pain. There are also practical ways I can work through this fear, like taking part in additional diversity and inclusion training to ensure that I’m best equipped to partner with all of my clients, no matter their background.

In my own experience, I’ve found it’s counselors like these that are most effective. I don’t get frustrated with a counselor if they haven’t gone through what I’ve gone through. Instead, I’ve found that trust grows even further when they make an effort to understand the intricacies of my experiences, even if it’s unfamiliar territory to them. I also recognize that I won’t be the “world's best counselor” on my first day. I’m sure there are many in this industry who have been practicing for decades and still encounter challenges that are surprising to them. This lifelong commitment to learning about the uniqueness of human experiences is just one part of what makes this career interesting to me. Though it can be intimidating at times, I still find myself overwhelmed with excitement for it.

Thanks for reading.